Rangiku's Mad Scheme
by Twilight Antediluvian
Summary: The first two parts are a complete whole, but a third chapter is on its way, thus the WIP. Hints at HitsuKarin. Rangiku and Renji make a bet and soon all of Soul Society knows that Hitsugaya's fukutaichou is on a quest to get him a girlfriend.
1. The Matchmakers

_**Rangiku's Mad Scheme**__** (Part 1)**_

"Some of these _people_," Rangiku huffed to Renji. "They really need matchmakers, the way they're tiptoeing around each other."

"And I suppose you're the one to do it?" The redhead looked amused.

"I'm not half bad, if that's what you're implying!" The slightly intoxicated woman straightened. "You know, most people assume I have no brains just because I've…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know you Rangiku-chan. I still don't think you're cut out to be matchmaker. Hey, you haven't even managed to bag that stuffy taichou of yours with anyone. I would have thought that'd be your first target if you're as good as you say."

"Taichou isn't interested in anyone," the strawberry blonde pouted. "sometimes he doesn't even seem to see _me_." Renji shook his head.

"I think that growth spurt he had a few years ago was more than just inches to his height, sweetheart. Hitsugaya-taichou may be the stuffiest pubescent boy in all Soul Society, but the man's definitely growing up."

"Why doesn't he notice me, then? I've always thought that once he hit _that_ age, the fun and games would all be over, but he's still my chibi-taichou!" That made Renji laugh.

"You're a handful of woman, true, but he probably sees you more like a sister than a love interest. It's not the busty ones that make him blush, either. You've probably destroyed his appetite for cleavage with all your hugs during the years."

"_Abarai_! You meanie." She looked thoughtful, still. "You're right, you're right! He _did_ go out of his way to avoid our sixth seat all last month! They'd be such a cute couple, even though she's a little on the mousey side."

"I still don't think you can do it, though. He's a tough nut to crack, even though you've known him for so long."

"I'm game, but I'm going to need time." Rangiku yawned and leaned her head in her hands, still a bit pouty, but getting sneakier by the minute.

"You… what game?"

"I mean I'll do it, you punk. You're so terrible at these things, Renji. You couldn't convince a Fourth division newbie to _blush_ if you had a _year_ to do it!"

"What?! I could, too!"

"Pfft."

"I'll prove it," he grumbled. "I'll match someone before you do!" Rangiku laughed so hard at that, she practically fell over. "I could, too," Renji repeated sourly.

"Who'll you be matching then?" While she waited for an answer, grinning madly, Renji looked around for a suitable target. No one too easy, or his partner in crime would call a foul or laugh at him again. That dark-haired girl sitting with Yumichika, Ikkaku and a couple of boys from Eleventh looked tomboyish enough that not even Rangiku would be able to say he was making it easy on himself. He pointed half-discreetly in that direction.

"How 'bout _her_, should be almost as bad as your taichou." Rangiku actually paled a little.

"Do you want Kurosaki to _kill_ you for messing with his little sister, Renji-kun?"

"_That's_ Kurosaki's sister? Go figure. Ah, he'd just smack me around for a while; you're worried I'll win."

"Deal, then!" Rangiku grinned. "It'll be a pleasure watching you and Strawberry once he figures out what you're up to. You're lucky, she's just arrived. She'll be here a full two years so there's no reason you shouldn't have _all the time you need_." Rangiku was still laughing pretty hard. This would be a competition to boast of indeed, if either of them succeeded.

* * * * * * * *

"Dun' wanna be rude, lady, but dun'cha think maybeh you'd do better wi'… ah dunno, Fourth divis'uhn?" Arrogant bastard couldn't even talk straight and thought she was too _weak_ to play with the big guys?

Karin had met fifth seat Yumichika by chance in the aftermath of the Winter War long ago and what he had said in passing about the Eleventh division had stuck with her. Ikkaku-sanseki, Yachiru-fukutaichou and Zaraki-taichou took a bit more getting used to, but there was no point in holding back. She wanted to train with the best of the best and when looking for zanpaktou skill, these were the guys to do that with. She didn't answer the uncouth punk directly, just lifted her bowl of saké and took it in one swig. These guys understood some basic principles; that much she had already noticed.

"I couldn't care less where you want me to be."

"So how good are you?" Another one of the thugs seemed more prone to give her a chance, at least.

"I'm decent, but I'm here because I can get better. Ichi-nii won't train me, so I figured I'd go straight to the source."

"Ah yeah. You're that human sister of Kuchiki-san's prettyboy, wasn't that so?" That made her tick.

"Hey, punk, if you've got some complaint about my brother, why don't we take it out back?" The sooner they got those ideas out of their heads the better. She wasn't a fresh recruit from the Academy. She had watched her brother for ages, she had spent almost three years fighting Hollows herself before it was time to get some more practice.

A match against one of these real, experienced Shinigami… even if she lost, she would have won something in training and, if she did it right, some respect from these people.

* * * * * * * *

"Ichigo, you're slacking off!" Rukia had this ability to send her voice through the room like a whip and her not-so-secret boyfriend didn't find it at all amusing. He jumped several feet into the air.

"I don't see why you can't wash this yourself," he grumbled, hanging an obi sash to dry.

"I'll have to now; you need to go visit your sister at Fourth division."

"_What_?!"

"Apparently Karin-chan gave her opponent a good whacking before she went down, but I think the man deserves to be reminded again." She looked up and only saw the dust that had whirled up when he left. Hmph, that man never stayed long enough to listen. Then again… she looked after him with a frown. Karin had been really beaten, from the sound of it. She was too stubborn for her own good, that girl.

* * * * * * * *

"Let me in! I have to see her!"

"Be calm, Kurosaki-san," Unohana advised in her sweet, but firm way. "Your sister will be fine, but I can't let you in to see her while you're so distraught." Ichigo swallowed hard and nodded.

"Okay, I'll be calm. Can I see her?" The taichou watched him for a moment, then nodded and pushed the door aside.

Someone was already in there.

"I like you," the little chirping voice said. "you're funny!"

"Well, thanks I suppose," Karin said, dryly amused. "I'll think of that next time I need to remind someone that I'm not a pushover, fukutaichou-chan."

"Karin! Are you alright?" She looked rather tousled, so her protective brother barely noticed her lopsided smile.

"I'm fine, Ichi-nii. I always knew that training here would be tough. Besides, Ikkaku and Yumichika were both there. They like me way too much to let anyone kill me over a silly argument."

"Argument? You got into a fight because of such a thing?" Ichigo was fuming.

"Well, he insulted you. Couldn't let him get away with _that_." Oh well, this was going to be a _long_ day.

* * * * * * * *

"Taichou, taichou, come quickly!" A few papers scattered and an inkblot spread over the neatly written page, but Hitsugaya didn't even notice as he sped to the door. "Sixth seat is in trouble, you have to help her!" Matsumoto held a few papers in one hand and pointed away from the office with the other.

"Dammit," he growled. What had happened? Had someone burned themselves? He hadn't heard any explosions, but some of the kidou was dangerous even if it wasn't loud. Wounds from sword fighting, maybe? Or broken limbs when training hakuda, for that matter.

Sixth seat; she was fairly cute, but she needed to grow a backbone. _Cute_! He huffed at the unimportant thought.

He had expected many things as he sped around the corner, but none of them had been what he saw. The woman was balancing a huge stack of paperwork precariously while reaching for her set of inks. She was going to drop it. With a few quick steps, furious at having Matsumoto call him out for something so trivial, he relieved her of the burden.

"Hitsugaya-taichou!" She trembled like a leaf on the wind. The voice that had sent uninvited, unwanted, bizarre shivers down his spine for a full month was now merely annoying. That was an upside to this blasted moment, at least.

"Do pay a little more attention next time." Marching into the office where sixth through eighth seats worked, he carefully unloaded the paper stack on her desk.

"Th-thank you, taichou." He just nodded and left the room. As he was walking back toward the office, he noticed the top of a blonde head trying to sneak away behind some bushes.

"_Matsumoto_!"

"Waaah!" Ugh. There she went. No point in chasing her.

* * * * * * * *

"Maybe I need to be more discreet?" Rangiku mused over her cup of saké. Renji nearly choked on his.

"If you did _that_ to _him_, then… yeah."

"But he was supposed to get mad _first_, so she could drop it and he'd have to… aw, darn. You haven't even tried yet, though, have you?"

"Well, seeing as my target is still being watched by that hawk, Unohana-taichou, I'm not exactly interested in making myself look suspicious."

"Ah, excuses Renji. It's a perfect way of getting to know the girl, isn't it?" The blonde grinned madly.

"Well maybe, but Ichigo will be there, I'd rather not tip him off first thing I do."

"Don't be such a wuss, if you make friends with her while he's watching, he'll be less suspicious when you talk to her later on." Rangiku wagged an impertinent finger in his face. She was right. Sober, the woman seemed to avoid any unnecessary thinking, but drunk she was sharper than bloody Kurotsuchi-taichou. He had to give her that.

"I think I'll go pay Kurosaki a visit." Both of them, hopefully.

* * * * * * * *

"_Help!_" The noise was barely audible, but it was definitely someone in trouble… this made Hitsugaya very suspicious, because it didn't sound like far away, merely very muffled.

Looking quickly around the office he noticed that the mountain of things that Matsumoto had stashed beside the cupboard door now was effectively blocking it. Yes, that was a possibility. The voice inside wasn't hers, though; even this muffled, he could hear a whiney tone to it and she was never that useless.

"Keep _calm_," he growled loudly. "I'm working on this." The sound died away and he started shuffling things about, cursing Matsumoto under his breath.

"_Stupid_ place to put things."

It took a while, but in the end he could open the door and let out the terrified girl. That sixth seat sure seemed to get into an awful lot of trouble.

"Thank you, Hitsugaya-taichou, you saved me again."

"Whatever. What happened?"

"I don't know, I was sorting through the ink stash and then someone shut the door on me! They were terribly rude." Something was fishy about this whole thing, and it was more than just the frilly girl. He could tell.

* * * * * * * *

"He's not swallowing the bait," Matsumoto complained. "I've been dangling sixth seat in front of him like a puppet on a string and he's just being grumpy."

"Maybe you should try different bait then, Rangiku-san?" Hisagi suggested. In two months, the plot to get Hitsugaya Toushiro to act a human for once had evolved into a grand master plan. In the same time, Renji had just about gotten to know the Kurosaki girl.

"But there are no other _good_ victims out there. It's like all the mousey girls decided to go into hiding and she was the only one left behind."

"Fourth has a few, you could probably make one of them mop floors in your office." Kira added.

"Quiet, you," Rangiku mumbled, "here comes Renji and his little fuzzball."

"That's spikey, rather than fuzzy," someone whispered and the rest agreed.

"Hi everyone. I'm Kurosaki Karin, pleased to meet you all." Karin _looked_ unfazed, but Rangiku could sense a little tension just under the surface. It wasn't that strange, though, when meeting three fukutaichou for the first, or in her own case second, time.

"It's so good to finally meet you again," Rangiku cooed. "I heard you beat Eleventh's seventh seat in fair combat the other day. You're really moving up." Karin blushed. Eh. Maybe she shouldn't be helping Renji, but the girl was so _cute_!

"I'm here to get stronger, after all."

"You should have some fun while you're here, too," Renji threw in.

"Your idea of 'fun' is pretty straightforward, I'll admit," Karin laughed.

"Well, we could throw a party."

"Abarai! What a good idea." That would be a perfect time to put her own plans in motion, Rangiku thought gleefully. "Remember what Shunsui said last week about a grand party across the divisions?"

"Matsumoto… he was _joking_."

"Yes, yes, of course we can't invite _all_ of them. Say, two divisions to try it out and then, if it works well we could expand later!" All the others looked at her, practically needing to pick up their jaws from the table before they could be coherent again.

"You know," Hisagi finally recovered, "you might have a point."

"She's definitely on to _something_," Karin agreed, "but you'll have to choose your divisions carefully. People will be sceptical the first time, so you need those who'll be more predisposed to have fun, like… uh, Fourth? No, wait, they're too meek."

"Fifth mostly need some stress relief, or they'd be good," Hisagi thought out loud. "Shunsui-taichou would definitely appreciate if we included him."

"Why not Tenth?" Matsumoto was feeling a dent in her plans to get her taichou in a party mood, but she was also really curious.

"Not to be rude, Rangiku-san," Karin grinned, "but you have quite a few stiff Shinigami hanging around that division of yours. Kyoraku-taichou would _start_ the party, Toushiro would just… well, he probably wouldn't show up in the first place." The other three nodded.

"Aw, some party-poopers you are. Oh well, I suppose you're right. Shunsui-taichou and Eighth division, then. Who else?"

"Why not Thirteenth?" Kira suggested. "They're always hanging out together and it'd be a great way of showing our respect for the two most senior taichou around… except sou-taichou, of course."

"Yah, Kira," Renji grinned. "That's sneaky of you."

"And the sou-taichou wouldn't appreciate a dance party in his honour, I bet. Aw, I guess taichou will have to wait." The blonde fukutaichou sighed heavily.

"I'm sure he'll be really upset," Hisagi said sarcastically. They all had a good laugh at that.

* * * * * * * *

"Did you notice Kurosaki-san's slip, in there?"

"Of course, Kira, but I think Rangiku-san was too wrapped up in her own thoughts to hear it… Abarai-kun probably didn't even think of it."

"Should we tell them, Hisagi-kun?"

"Nah, let them figure out on their own. As it is, it doesn't seem like those two are involved… and if there really is nothing going on between Kurosaki-san and Hitsugaya-taichou, then I'd like to know where she got the habit of calling him by first name like that." The dark haired man grinned at his blonde friend, who just nodded thoughtfully.

"True. He is usually rather formal and she calls all the other captains by title."

"If they really _are_ involved, then this whole plan is in for an abrupt halt once Rangiku-san figures out."

"You're so sure she'll be the first to notice?" Kira sounded thoughtful.

"Out of Rangiku-san and Abarai-kun, who would be more likely to notice something like that?"

"Hm. Well, we'll just wait and see."

* * * * * * * *

"Isn't this supposed to be a training field? What are all these… _things_ doing here?"

"Tents! They are party tents! But don't worry your head with such details, my sweet Nanao-chan. Rangiku-chan has promised me she'll take care of _everything_. Do you know any good dances? Your pretty feet would do so _well_ on the… _ouch_!" Ise Nanao was so used to rapping her taichou with a fan whenever he went down that road, it was automatic.

"_Dancing_? Why is she arranging something like that?"

"Ah, young hearts need to fly, Nanao-chan, surely you feel a bit of spring in your step."

"I feel no such thing. It's unprecedented, isn't it?"

"There hasn't been a dance party in Seireitei in a few hundred years, but it's not _quite_…"

"This has something to do with that thing she's been cooking up with Abarai-fukutaichou." The woman corrected her glasses and sighed. "Oh well, I suppose it's as good a reason as any, but with you and Matsumoto-fukutaichou heading the event, it will be more like a drunken revel than a dance."

"How terrible of you! At least there will be much singing and I'm sure it will be very enjoyable." His fukutaichou looked sceptical about the whole idea.

* * * * * * * *

Hitsugaya Toushiro liked sitting alone where it was comfortably dark and silent. People rarely saw him and so rarely disturbed him. Occasionally, that meant he stumbled over the secrets that were being discussed in dark corners, but he was a discreet man and as long as nobody _knew_ that he was aware of such things, nobody would bother him about it. This time was a little different, though.

"I'm surprised you didn't know," the girl said. Hitsugaya had been spending ten minutes wondering if he should report them for letting romance get the better of them while on duty, but they _did_ seem to be doing their job; however strange that sounded. He hated using information gained like this, so he just listened. With their latest topic, he was too stunned to do otherwise, anyway.

"So what you're saying is my fukutaichou and yours are on some mad quest to get Hitsugaya-taichou a girlfriend? That's too weird to be true."

"Not exactly. Apparently it's a competition. At least Abarai-fukutaichou doesn't seem to be involved with the part that concerns your taichou. He's got another person, by the looks of it."

"Well, how does _that_ work then? Whoever manages to fix their object up with a girlfriend wins?"

"That's what it seems like, but apparently Abarai-fukutaichou's is a girl. You know, that dark-haired one who beat up seventh seat Tanaburo last week?"

"Tanaburo… ah, I remember. Her? I've heard she only cares about training and fighting. She seems like the stuffy type, so no wonder it's a competition."

"It'll be a miracle if either of them manages, I know."

"Oh, I wouldn't be so sure. Matsumoto-fukutaichou can be really stubborn when she wants something. You know last year and that other bet she had with Abarai-fukutaichou?" Hitsugaya didn't see a point to listening any longer. He had work to do… and a certain dark-haired troublemaker to see.

* * * * * * * *

"Ukitake, what do you think of this dance coming up?" Shunsui was rather predisposed to like any party, but his old friend would have a more balanced view of things.

"It does seem like a good way for our people to relax and maybe make new friends. I can't see any harm in it, but you're thinking of this little game our dear fukutaichou are playing, aren't you?" Shunsui nodded, looking serious.

"It's a tough one."

"While I wouldn't usually encourage it, Hitsugaya-taichou does need to ease up a bit and Rangiku-chan seems to be the only one who can do it. We'll keep an eye on it, but let's not make any hasty decisions. It _is_ his own fukutaichou, after all."

"Of course; he is young, but brilliant. He should be able to handle this well on his own. I would even say, if he doesn't, that he needed the learning experience." Ukitake nodded sagely at his friend's words. Shunsui himself was grinning mischievously.

* * * * * * * *

There was a shadow in the open door of her room. A shadow with messy white hair and emerald eyes.

"Toushiro!"

A breathless pause followed her surprised greeting.

"That's Hitsugaya-taichou, Kurosaki," he eventually said. "Can I come in?" He was a pretty straightforward guy usually, but this was strange.

"Right, right. What's up?"

"It seems Matsumoto-fukutaichou and Abarai-fukutaichou have made… a bet. About whom of them can first," he grumbled irritably, "_match up_ a pair of Shinigami with someone. I thought you would like to know that you're one of them." Intense silence reigned for a long moment.

"Who's the other poor sod, then?" Apparently, Karin saw no point in asking 'why me' or other worthless questions.

"Why do you ask?" She rolled her eyes.

"Because if I'm going to turn their little game on them, it's easier if I know who else has it coming."

"That would be me." Karin's jaw dropped and for a moment she was too stunned to speak. Then she just laughed.

"Well, _that_ makes sense, at least."

"What do you mean by that?"

"That it was bound to happen, of course. You're growing up, Matsumoto-fukutaichou loves poking about in other people's business and you're the best test subject she's got."

"She _would_ get something like that in her head sooner or later, I suppose. Matsumoto certainly is foolish enough to try."

"This whole dance thing seems like something she would use to win herself the bet." Karin was obviously already scheming.

"Yes."

"Then why not use that _against_ her. Rangiku-san would completely loose it if you suddenly know how to dance, right?"

"I _don't_ know how to dance. I'm not making a spectacle of myself just because she has gotten it in her head that I need a… a _girlfriend_! She's been trying to pair me up with our sixth seat for more than a month! It's ridiculous!" Karin had to snigger at that, but it wasn't enough to keep her distracted.

"Isn't that the point, though? If you _learn_, then you _won't_ be making a fool of yourself. It'll leave her completely disarmed!"

"No. It's best to just weather the storm; she has to get over this stupid game sooner or later."

"Face it, she'll just keep pestering you until you find yourself acting like a hormonal teenager one of these days. The reasonable choice is to do a pre-emptive strike where you can choose the battleground." Karin had apparently listened much too well to the Academy strategy teachers. She was right, though, Matsumoto wasn't the kind to pull the plug on something like this and she'd find one of his weak spots sooner or later.

"Whatever. Just don't expect me to go along with anything silly."

"Nah, I actually don't exactly know what I was planning on having us learn, yet. But I'm sure Unohana-taichou or someone could help us. Kuchiki-san might know something, too."

"You don't _know_? I suppose that explains why this entire venture feels ill-omened."

* * * * * * * *

"Unohana-taichou, can I come in?"

"Of course, Kurosaki-san. Are you well?" The Fourth division taichou was happy and gentle, as always. Now, Karin could only hope she was doing the right thing.

"I'm good, thank you. Do you know anything of ballroom dances, taichou?"

"That is an unusual question, child," the woman said, ever smiling. "Yes, I have practiced some in my time. I take it you wish to learn?"

"Yeah, that was what I'd been hoping."

"And do you have a partner to dance with?" The question made Karin blush.

"I do. He's not very happy about it though, so could we keep this between the three of us?" Unohana looked at her seriously for a moment, then nodded.

"If you wish. Who is this partner of yours, then?" Instead of answering, Karin turned to the doorway.

"Toushiro, I think you'd better come in." And in he came, practically carrying a stormcloud with him. It made Karin sigh and Unohana smile, just sweetly enough to hide her amusement.

"Hitsugaya-taichou, this is an unexpected pleasure. Might I guess that this sudden urge to learn springs from a certain rumor going around?" That made him look even angrier. "Don't worry, I will keep this my secret. I do believe you have a little time most afternoons?"

"Every afternoon?" He seemed shocked by the frequency.

"Of course, if you wish to excel quickly then training is a must." Karin watched Unohana effortlessly coax the younger taichou into agreeing to spend a little time every day learning how to waltz. That in itself was a feat that made her sure they had done right in choosing to come to the mild taichou. This mad plan might actually work. She'd have to slack off a bit on her training, but again… it would probably be worth it.

* * * * * * * *

"_Darling_ Nanao-chan, isn't this just a _brilliant_ day? Have you been practicing much? I hope you haven't over-exerted yourself, it would be such a _shame_ if you couldn't show the world the unimaginable skills I am sure you possess!"

"I will be supervising, not dancing." The young fukutaichou looked stern, but to Shunsui the little gleam in her eye was obvious. He'd have to thank Rangiku-chan thoroughly for this.

"Kyoraku-taichou! Ah, we weren't expecting you so… soon."

"It's all right, Kira-kun, relax. That's what I was planning on doing!"

"Uh, well, I suppose the tent over there is ready. I'll…"

"Kira-fukutaichou! Matsumoto-fukutaichou is asking for you!" Some unranked Fourth division members had gladly taken the day off sewer duty to help out with the party preparations.

"Oh dear! Kira-kun, don't keep her waiting, this was such a wonderful idea."

* * * * * * * *

"Ukitake-san, what a pleasant surprise. Would you like some tea?"

"Thank you Unohana-san, I would be very grateful. Is everything well with you?"

"Yes, quite. Your cough seems to have been better these last few weeks, too." Ukitake smiled ruefully.

"It's a small blessing. It's only temporary, I'm afraid, but that's not why I'm here."

"No? Then sit down for a moment and I shall fetch the tea, it's already hot." For a moment, the taichou disappeared, leaving Ukitake to sit down in peace. He had been thinking… a lot. Somehow, Unohana Retsu always seemed to know what to do and for once, Ukitake needed someone other than Shunsui to discuss this matter with. A liberal application of alcohol or a witty retort wouldn't save the day now.

"I'm worried about this game our fukutaichou are playing," he noted as Unohana re-entered the room. "It seems to be under control at the moment, but Rangiku-chan can get a bit… overzealous when it comes to something she considers in Hitsugaya-san's best interest."

"Ah. Yes, this seems to have all of Seireitei on its toes. I wouldn't worry too much, that particular young man is very capable of taking care of himself."

"I simply think that anyone who is stuck between Rangiku-san and Shunsui both trying to make him imbibe as much saké as possible… even Hitsugaya-san might find it a bit hard to live through. I'm not worried about him doing anything improper, mind you; I simply find this is going… a bit further than expected."

"You are a good man, Ukitake," Unohana said slowly. "I still believe our young prodigy will do well." Sipping her tea slowly, she fixed the older taichou with a mild but firm look. "Young people these days wish to learn many skills. Did you know I even had a couple asking me if I would teach them to waltz, the other day?"

"Waltz?" He wasn't stupid; he understood what she meant even though she preferred to cloak it in such words. "That seems… perfectly in order, I'm sure it would many people good to learn how to relax."

"Yes, I do believe so." Unohana nodded sweetly, still sipping her tea.

"And are your new pupils doing well, then?"

"You know I can't discuss private training like that," she scolded him. "But suffice to say I think we will all be surprised when the day comes. As I'm sure is the intention."

…_end of part 1(2)…_

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

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_A__n old cliché, turned idea, mutated into a Soul Society thrillfest. Now, this is the first time I've tried so many different characters (since it was started pre-"Kind of Darkness"). That means I'll gladly take constructive criticism on what I should consider when portraying them, because I'm pretty sure some of these are (in some cases more than a little) so-so in character. Toushiro and a couple more I think I have down acceptably, but some, like Kira and Hisagi, are so very hard._

Authors love reviews! Of course, this particular author will sprout nonsense with or without them, but they do mean a lot, even if it's just the "I like" kind. Constructive critisim, as noted, very appreciated!


	2. Let's Dance

_**Rangiku's Mad Scheme Part 2 (Let's Dance)**_

"This is ridiculous. Though, if nothing else Matsumoto will be shocked that I go to this stupid venue of hers without her even needing to pester me about it."

"You're _going_?" Karin looked at Hitsugaya incredulously.

"Of course, if we were going to do this stupid dance number or whatever."

"I'm not going this time. Neither of us is ready, we'd just make fools of ourselves. I won't go until I can floor her with one dance."

"You're… what?! How many 'dance parties' do you think we hold in this place?"

"Don't worry, unless this one's a total flop there _will_ be another one. She hasn't even invited you yet, this time… has she?"

"No. Why is that important?"

"Well, I think your dear fukutaichou is trying to lull you into a false sense of security before she acts. She was way too interested in doing one for your division; she clearly had something in mind for you. Just take a breather and we'll get there."

* * * * * * * *

"No, Hinamori. I'm _not_ going."

"But Shiro-chan, it'll be fun! It's even Rangiku-san's party. You simply can't _not_ go!"

"That's Hitsugaya-taichou already and I've told you a thousand times. I'm not going."

"But if you're not there, then who would I ask to dance?" He stood silent for a moment, just staring at her as if she was talking complete nonsense. Then…

"Hinamori, do you consider me the type who would _dance_?" That question was very important right now. If rumor was going around about him trying to learn, then there would be no point in learning. The core of this plot was that nobody must know.

"I know you don't dance, Hitsugaya-kun, but then I could at least sit by you until someone asks."

"Gee, thanks. I'm not going." Hm. Time for that stupid dance practice.

"Aw, well. It was worth a try. I need to practice my steps, in case someone _should_ be interested."

"You do that," he muttered. This whole dance party was a stupid thing to put such an effort into. He _wanted_ Karin to have been wrong about Matsumoto, but unfortunately it was frighteningly likely that thinking outside the box was the only rational way of getting a moment's peace. At least the woman had stopped shoving their sixth seat in his face twice a day.

"Goodbye, Hitsugaya-kun!"

"Goodbye, Hinamori." She probably didn't hear, already rushing away to something new that could keep her mind off the past. Oh well, he had a task of his own to tend to.

* * * * * * * *

"This is a lovely party, Rangiku-san. I'm glad you youngsters thought of us."

"Since it was Kyoraku-taichou's idea to begin with, it only seemed natural." The fukutaichou was in a surprisingly sombre mood, still.

"He does seem to enjoy himself, doesn't he?" The famous pink robe with flower patterns was swirling around on the field. Ise Nanao had been forced to give up her supervising rather quickly when her taichou wouldn't be deterred from dancing the first two with her. Actually, that meant the whole party had been waiting for her, since he was to lead the first dance. Ukitake had excused himself due to his weak disposition, something that no one had questioned.

"I think Ise-fukutaichou is rather happy, too." She was keeping it under wraps, but she was definitely as beaming as someone trying their best to look severe and displeased could be.

"The rest of them are simply following his lead. I believe a little bird whispered in my ear that this might be a recurring event if it were successful?"

"The idea had crossed my mind," Matsumoto said carefully.

"It's a brilliant idea, truly." This was an area to be tread carefully. She probably suspected that he knew about their game, but he was absolutely sure that Unohana wouldn't have allowed any knowledge of Hitsugaya's retaliation to leak. It would be beneficial to _all_ if the next party included Tenth division.

"Two divisions seem to be a good amount," she mused.

"Yes, yes, but I imagine it might be best to take divisions who have already had some positive contact before. Have you thought of what divisions might make good choices for the next one?"

"Well, we _have_ been thinking ahead, but nothing is quite finished yet." She was definitely dodgy about this question. "Some divisions aren't exactly the most party-friendly. We'd like to have another good party before we start making it difficult for ourselves." Ukitake found himself smiling.

"Ah, naturally. Then wouldn't it be best to invite those that have helped with arrangements, you think?" It sounded so innocent, but it was so close to her sensors that he almost thought she'd notice where he was heading.

"It does sound like a reasonable plan." If she'd noticed his meddling, she didn't mind. "That would mean Tenth and Sixth, maybe Ninth or Third."

"Pleasing Kuchiki-taichou will be a harsh test, I'm sure, but as long as you accommodate for the more formal preferences of his division it might be an even greater success than tonight."

"You have a knack for these things, Ukitake-taichou," Rangiku mumbled cheerfully.

"Ah, thank you my dear. You might want to consider pairing that up with another traditional division. Which would be most suitable, in that case?" The woman actually had the sense to pretend to consider it for a while before answering.

"My own division? We usually have good relations toward Sixth, too."

"I'm sure Hitsugaya-taichou would feel honoured." He paused while she looked incredulously at him. "As long as you assure him there will be nothing frivolous or childish about it." She laughed at that. Hopefully, his little scheme here would keep the game from spreading any more than it already had.

* * * * * * * *

"_Owah_! Matsumoto, have you been _sleeping_ on my _paperwork_?" Her taichou was being terribly loud. It was still dark and the effects of the alcohol hadn't quite dissipated yet.

"Yes, taichou," she mumbled. There was a vague memory somewhere in her head of stumbling into the office after the rather wild party ended. Complete silence reigned for a moment; then she felt his arm snake under hers and behind her back to help her stagger to her feet.

"Come on, Matsumoto, I can't carry you." Taichou was such a sweet guy. He really deserved someone good in his life.

"You don't need to…" She stumbled, but with Hitsugaya's help she managed to steady herself in the doorway.

"It's just a little further, Matsumoto. I take it you had a good evening?"

"Oh taichou!" It was easy to become caught up in the memory. When she hadn't taken care of things with the tents and arrangement she had been dancing every dance. They staggered the few steps to her chambers.

"Steady now, while I open the door."

"There were so many cute men who wanted to dance. And Ukitake-taichou was so encouraging!"

"Mm."

"You _really_ should have been there, taichou, there were many pretty girls too!"

"I'm sure you think so, now lie down."

"But _taichou_…"

"Matsumoto…"

"Yes, taichou?" She'd feel really silly about this when the last of her dizziness wore off.

"Be silent. Lie down. Go to sleep… don't worry."

"All right, taichou." He helped her settle. Then he watched over her while she mumbled incoherently for a while, until she finally fell asleep. _He_ needed a pretty girlfriend? _She_ needed someone to steady her… though, after Gin's betrayal, that wasn't likely to happen anytime soon.

* * * * * * * *

"Hey Karin, it's been a while!"

"Renji! Yeah, a few days I suppose," she grinned. He was a good friend, but he had no concept of time. "The party went well, I heard?"

"Oh yeah, we were _rockin_'. You should have been there!"

"I heard on the grapevine there might be more, though?" He nodded, his eyes gleaming. Renji really was cute when he got like this.

"Rangiku-san, Kira-kun, Hisagi-kun and I have already started planning the next one. It'll be sixth and tenth divisions." Well _that_ was no surprise to anyone, but she'd have to play her part.

"Sounds cool. Though it means I can't be there this time either, I suppose."

"You're always welcome when you're invited by the crew." Karin had to laugh at that.

"Seriously, Renji! 'The crew'? Who taught you to say stuff like that?" He blushed. "No, wait, don't tell me. I think I'm better off not knowing"

"Me and Rukia were going to grab a bite later, but I think she'll be dragging your brother along. Feel like joining us?"

"Are you trying to avoid being the third wheel again? I'm sorry, but I just don't have the time." There was the need to practice, swordplay as well as dance, both most definitely in the way.

"You've been pretty busy all last week, Karin-san, but Ikkaku says you've been spending less time training than usual." The question was obvious and she didn't like playing mind games, but their little scheme didn't give her much choice… and dancing with Toushiro was nice enough.

"Yeah, I'm trying to broaden my horizons. Kidou isn't my strong point, so Unohana-taichou and Rukia are giving me pointers. They're both really skilled." That wasn't a complete lie; Unohana-taichou had pointed toward certain similarities in concentrating on dance steps and working with kidou. When Karin had taken the idea to Rukia, they had even elaborated on it.

"That's just a cover though, isn't it?" For a moment, Karin froze, her heart sinking. "You want to spend time with Rukia because she'll be your sister soon enough, I think."

"Yeah, well, don't tell her." Was it even possible for a heart to jumpstart like that?

"Don't worry, your secret's safe with me. Although I'm telling you it's not very secret, the way those two hang around each other."

"Right, right. I've gotta go, though, see you for a drink later?"

"Bring along Ikkaku and Yumichika when you pass by your division, I'll see if Rangiku can sneak away from that taichou of hers." A quick nod and a wave, a few steps, around a corner and _finally_ she could relax a little. That had been _close_!

This entire, stupid thing was getting on her nerves. Good thing it would only be another three weeks. Three weeks! She groaned at the thought of playing their silly game for that long, but even had she not promised herself to show them, there would have been Toushiro to consider. And he was becoming a pretty good dancer, too, for a man whose body told him that he was approximately sixteen, with added confusion considering his mental and actual age.

* * * * * * * *

"Thank you for inviting me over, Unohana-taichou."

"Please, Jyuushiro, surely we've known each other long enough to be on a first name basis?" The white-haired man smiled.

"Of course, Retsu-san."

"Come, sit down. I've made some hot tea for us. We haven't had the opportunity to talk this last week."

"My condition is what it is," Ukitake admitted, "but your cures make it bearable. You have been rather busy too, or so I hear through Kiyone-chan."

"Ah, of course. My young students wish to excel and so they shall. I'll admit that leaves me with less free hours than usual for my other pastimes, but the dancing practice in particular will only be for a few more weeks, I suspect."

"Then you suspect other things to be more lasting?" They couldn't be straightforward, but there was no need to. Unohana smiled at him.

"Once opened, certain doors can never again be closed. One cannot lock up a compassionate heart forever, if your companions are merely patient and attentive. And one must be _very_ attentive while dancing."

"As they say; love, and a cough, are not concealed." Ukitake's smile was rueful at first, but then his usual subdued cheerfulness returned. "You haven't had this much fun in a long time, had you?"

"No, Jyuushiro-san," she agreed, "these two bring something extra into every lesson. It's certainly never boring."

* * * * * * * *

"Can you avoid stepping on my _feet_, please?" There was a chill in the air.

"Only if you stop shuffling them around like that, we're dancing waltz, not quickstep!"

"Not what?"

"Quickstep, it's a ballroom dance where you… ah, _whatever_. Just keep to controlled movements. Think of Kuchiki-taichou or something."

"Why in the name of…"

"Stop chatting and start dancing, Toushiro!"

"I'm not the one sprouting nonsense."

"No, but you _are_ the one whose coordination skills are sub-p… _aah_!"

"Excellent hold, Hitsugaya-san, you have improved a great deal in just a few days." Unohana Retsu was beaming even as the young prodigy suddenly realised what he was doing and completely lost it.

Not only did she have two quick students, it was practically like having a private show, watching them. Especially when young Karin managed to make her partner so annoyed he tried something extraordinary like this. Even more when it had been instinctive and as soon as his brilliant brain caught up with his emotions, they both fell to the floor with a distinct _thud_.

"_Ow_! Where you go I follow and all that, but when you lean me back I still need to be able to _balance_ before you drop me."

"You were leaning too far."

"I couldn't exactly help it; you were swinging me around like I was a sack of _potatoes_!"

"Indeed?" Icy chill permeated the room.

"Oh, stop being such a princess. If you freeze the place over again we won't be able to practice, so stop that and help me up."

"Hmph."

* * * * * * * *

"Something strange has been going on in the Fourth division lately," the young girl said knowingly, making Hitsugaya's ears perk up though he tried to avoid it. Damn. If he didn't stop being involved with the things being discussed in dark corners, he'd have to give up sitting in this spot and he _liked_ it.

"I know, you told me the other day."

"Don't be a killjoy; nobody knows exactly _what_ it is, so it's really interesting!"

"If her division is up to something strange, don't you think Unohana-taichou would lock them in a sick room until they behave? I've heard she's really scary when she wants something."

"But they say Unohana-taichou is actually part of it!"

"Now that's just a _weird_ rumor. I said she's scary, not a complete nutcase. Can you imagine Unohana-taichou doing anything shady?"

"I suppose not…" Hm. It was good that the party was only a week away. They could probably meet up somewhere else, Unohana-san had already said that all they needed was more practice. Stupid dancing. It was kind of relaxing, though, even though they were constantly nagging each other about one thing or another.

One thing was for sure, though; he'd have to talk to his senpai as soon as possible.

* * * * * * * *

"There's something off about this," Hitsugaya noted as he swept her along in a turn. "Matsumoto hasn't said a word about the party and it's only this weekend." Karin just shrugged and followed effortlessly. They were rather good at this, now. For the last few days they had practiced in an out-of-the-way locale that Unohana-taichou had discreetly pointed them towards.

"She's got some sort of idea, I promise you that much. I was with her and Renji the other day and she was as devious as usual."

"Devious? Matsumoto?"

"When she's up to something, yes." Karin took a breath as he leaned her back for a moment. He hadn't dropped her since that one time when Unohana-taichou startled him. "Don't worry. And once she tries to convince you, don't make it easy for her. You don't want her to suspect that you're coming willingly. She won't give up."

"I'm not stupid. Why are you so disturbingly good at this?"

"Because I'm not stupid, either. I listen, I think." There was a tense silence, broken only by the soft notes of the waltz and the clicking of their shoes against the floor. "Okay, so maybe I don't sleep too well, so I've got a lot of time to come up with ideas."

"You're tensing up again. Relax, you're making this harder."

"Right. Practice. I'm glad I've got this; apart from our meditation classes this is the only time I really _can_ relax."

"Don't get too comfortable with it; you'll need to find your own way of handling pressure once this is over and done with." She stopped dead, ignoring the music.

"I keep forgetting that this is just an annoyance to you."

"Not precisely. As a captain I simply don't have the time to indulge it every day." He pulled lightly at her hand, starting them in a spin to the music again.

"So what does that mean? You actually _like_ dancing?"

"With you, I suppose you could say that. With anyone in particular?"

"Sure, sure, you're the great Hitsugaya-taichou, if you're not picky then who'd have the right to be?"

"Are you making fun of me?"

"Who cares? Let's just dance."

* * * * * * * *

"I've made sure the tents are up the same way as last time, fukutaichou. Is there anything you'd like changed?"

"Hmm, would you get that one moved to over there?" Matsumoto waved thoughtfully in two unclear directions, but their Fourth division helpers had already lived through that once and actually seemed to be at ease even though the instructions were… ambiguous.

"_Matsumoto_!"

"Oh, taichou! You're late, you know."

"There shouldn't even be a _reason_ for me to be here!" He had almost started to hope that she might _not_ ask him to show up. Then _this_!

"But we need you, taichou, you _can't_ back out on us now!" So that had been her plan all along. She had never intended to convince him, she'd just do it the one way he couldn't refuse: the 'you have to' guilt trip. It was all very convenient, he was sure. The only, tiny upside to it all was that he would be allowed to dance with Karin later. That would take his mind off things.

* * * * * * * *

"Matsumoto is amazing." Hisagi watched from behind a tent flap as Hitsugaya scurried about, doing this and that. The poor guy had never even had a chance.

"Mmh," Kira was practically knee-deep in some of the paperwork surrounding the event. "This time there will be more people, though, so his help is welcome."

"I think I saw Kyoraku-taichou and Ukitake-taichou hanging around earlier." Somewhere behind the stack Renji was helping out with the paperwork, something Rangiku had cheerfully dumped on them. "They probably won't come early this time, but it seems like Kyoraku-sama at least will be attending later on."

"He'll probably be hiding in the bushes while Kuchiki-taichou does the lead dance, even." The voice had them all jumping a little.

Matsumoto Rangiku, generally known to avoid any and all work-related subjects, had turned into a bloody field officer where her pet project was concerned. They were all used to it, but it was still scary.

"Have you actually managed to convince him to lead the first dance?"

"Hisagi-kun, that's almost offensive. Of _course_ I have. Though," she looked a bit grumpy, "I had been hoping to talk him out of the classic dances and into something a bit more _fun_."

The idea of Kuchiki Byakuya dancing 'something a bit more fun' had all but Matsumoto laughing nervously.

* * * * * * * *

To see the two Kuchiki siblings dancing was the last thing to finally convince Hitsugaya that this wasn't a completely stupid choice. Perhaps the dark grey suit he was wearing had been the stupid part, but Unohana-san had almost been rabid about him not wearing shikakusho, and when she made up his mind his senpai was not to be gainsaid, so it was the best of a series of lousy options.

Today's greatest blessing was that nobody actually expected him to give in and dance, so Byakuya had been chosen to lead the first one. He was watching Karin out of the corner of his eye, considering whether the next dance would be good timing, when Abarai blocked his view of her.

"Hey Kurosaki, wanna dance?"

"Do I _look_ like I want to dance?"

"Well that dress is pretty wavy. You'd look good out there." Abarai and people skills, really.

"I've got other plans, Renji."

"Well, I'll be here if you need a partner." She looked at him, bewildered, for a few seconds.

"You're serious." It was kind of a question. After all, the stupid man had implied that she might be at the mercy of his goodwill to get anyone to dance with her. A moment longer and Hitsugaya would take him out of that delusion.

"Of course I am! You agreed to come here with me, the best I can do is be a good…"

"Renji, don't take this wrong, but it didn't exactly sound like you were planning a _date_ when you invited me, so don't feel pressured. Go dance with one of the pretty girls from your division instead."

"But you…"

"I'll be fine." The song was starting to play out. While Abarai was looking at the less stubborn girls of the evening, Hitsugaya managed to catch Karin's eye and made a tiny gesture toward the dance floor, getting an even tinier nod in return.

"Nah, I'll pass," Renji said with a sigh as the last notes faded and the next song started. Of all the perfect timings in the world, he recognised a waltz they had practiced with Unohana-taichou. This reeked of meddling, but he didn't mind… this once. "I invited you, after all…"

"Kurosaki." His interruption in the moment of silence made Abarai turn, but they both ignored the fukutaichou. This was what they had come here to do. "A dance?"

"If you wish." She took his outstretched hand. This had better work, considering all the time and effort they'd put into it.

* * * * * * * *

"What are they doing?" Rangiku stared disbelieving at her taichou and his unlikely partner.

"Looks like they're dancing." Shunsui sounded much too amused.

"But… taichou doesn't _dance_."

"He does now."

"And very well, I might add." Ukitake interjected cheerfully. Of all the meddling schemes in Soul Society, this one had been the best in a while.

* * * * * * * *

.

.

.

As for my slightly nasty portrayal of poor Momo, I don't hate her. I would never-ever-ever write HitsuHina and I think Momo is a bit on the stupid, thoughtless and stalkerish side, but she's also a sweet and well-meaning girl. So no, I don't hate her. She's useful, too.

**Amor tussisque non celantur** - _Love, and a cough, are not concealed. __(Ovid)_

For waltz, I was thinking something like these youtube-vids:

.com/watch?v=GW_Kkq3l2lI (good amateur couple)

.com/watch?v=it0kRSYw8Ek (English Waltz)


End file.
